Finding Balance in Adulthood: A Conversation With My Inner Child

If you’ve been working towards finding balance in adulthood without losing the simplicity you had as a child, come in, this one wanders gently.

Picture by: Lachlan Ross

Slipnote:

This is a dilly‑dally. No closure, no tight structure. It started as a clarification for something I was ruminating about… and whatever it was, it got solved so well I forgot it (and for the life of me I cannot remember the context for you). But the message stayed, so here we are.

A lot was coming through the other morning…

I was thinking about children and expectations. Children are not unconscious. They’re not on autopilot. Yet they don’t carry this weight of *expectation*, not in the way adults do. They don’t think their life is dull because they have a routine. They don’t think they’re unproductive or “off track” from their dreams because they’re playing a game instead of… doing something else.

Something in them (and it’s not necessarily "divine") guides them. They’re strangely self‑assured in their actions.

Even a child like me, who grew up fast because family dynamics pushed me into it, still had that compass. I dove into certain passions, like writing or design, without thinking *why*. There was no “end goal.” It wasn’t a means to an end. I also didn’t debate “why not.” Doing it didn’t feel like derailing myself from some grand purpose. I just did it.

There was no plan. I just progressed as it happened.

I liked it, even when it had challenges. Coding? *Why the hell is it not working?* Or *how on earth did this work?* Writing? Stories with no beginning or end, characters half‑baked, plot holes everywhere. But it was fun to write, to explore genres and styles, even when no one was reading. The practice was its own reward.

Even daily life had no strings attached. I went to school because my mom told me to. I wasn’t thinking about cultural depth or university or “the future.” I just went. Each day was its own day.

I don’t know if this is what people mean by “being fully in the present,” but I would love to embody some of that again. I’m finally aware of my dreams (yes, I know, riveting, it only took 30 years) and sometimes the happiness of finally being able to pursue them gets canceled out by the dread of *not* pursuing them.

I’m deeply grateful for awareness and everything it has brought me, my life seriously improved.

But sometimes awareness makes the simplest things heavier than they used to be.

It feels like I’m either canceling life or adding a layer of anxiousness that didn’t exist in mundane living.

So… I call you forth, my inner child. Teach me your wise-old-ways, because adulting has broken the simplest pleasure of *being* and *doing*.

I wonder how it is for people who have always had dreams. How? How do you enjoy the journey without getting in your own way? How do you keep pursuing without breaking the simplicity of life? Is it boundaries? Metrics? Do you laissez‑faire it?

For now, the only thing I know is that I’m trying to find this balance. Really. Trying to find balance in adulthood without losing the simplicity I had as a child.